Thursday, February 4, 2010

Pressing on to new life.

My Heart is lifted.
It has been shaken, it has been broken.It has been dark, heavy and unsettled.
It has been searching for clarity and joy.Praise God, my heart has been lifted.
It has found a new chapter. and this is only the first page. Its like one of those really good stories that you never want to put down, because you are just so eager to find out the ending. Im waiting, eagerly waiting on the Lord, the author and perfecter of my faith, to see what he holds for me! I wonder often what is going to be coming next, and I just think about how sweet it will be, because the Lord has promised to finish the good works he has started in us. Even in the hardships, and times of trial, He is there, making us ready. Preparing us for whats to come. The Lord is victorious in everything, when troubles come, he leads and sustains us.
Every time we fall, He is always faithful to pick us up and to place us back ontop of the rock.

In church this past sunday, we were finishing up a series called the game of life, and every week we discussed a different board game, often connecting the idea behind the game and the rules and everything else, and comparing it to how we want to play by our rules and go through life with the mindset that it is just a game.... well anyway... the last sermon for this series was on the game of perfection. and the message was about how we try to play the game of perfection in our everyday lives and especially with our faith. That after a while we move to a position where we seem to think that we need to earn our salvation. We worry so much about measuring up, and making ourselves look like we always have everytihng together, because well.... we seem to think that everyone around us has it all together so we must too! I have always struggled with this, I always saw the christians around me to be so strong, to have everything going right for them, and i thought i was the only one who stuggled. but that is just simply not true! we have a habit of comparing everything we know about ourselves to everything we DONT know about everyone else.
He also gave this incredibly breathtaking and beautiful analogy, referring to the fact that we cannot do anything to earn our salvation... he said... God is the initiator, our salvation isnt because of our works, its because God walked across the dance floor To US. HE ASKED US to dance with HIM. The most attractive person in the room is asking you to dance with him, HE initiated you."

How beautiful is that?!?! I never thought of it like that before, but let me tell you,every time I think about Jesus walking over to little ol me at a big dance, and asking me to dance....i just cry like a big ol baby :)

Like I said before, The Lord is moving me into a season of restoration. restoring my faith, my heart, my body, soul and mind. He is bringing me back to wholeness. Bringing me back to life. The past month has been a big transition for me... I moved back home really last minute, registered for classes here last minute, have been scrambling to find a job, learning how to interact with my mom on a daily basis, plugging in with my church here, and to finally tune into my own heart and to sort things out. If you didnt catch on by now... it was all kinda really thrown together last minute. so in the begining I was a bit nervous as to how the whole thing would pan out.... But I can honestly say that I am so happy I decided to come home, i really believe it was one of the best decisions i could of made for myself! I am being given that time that I need to figure things out, and really press in and to seek out the path that is laid out for me.
I cannot tell you how much lighter, and free-er I feel. I feel like Me!
And OH how GOOD it feels to feel like myself again.... Don't get me wrong I do miss brockport and the people that i will forever consider family :)
I miss you all so very much, so much so that I often sit in my room and think about you all and all the outrageous times we had and then i laugh uncontrollably... which then often leads to tears. But they are always happy tears, because you all have blessed me in ways that will forever be in my heart. And theyre happy tears because i know that we are forever friends and I WILL be seeing you all again, at some point. I have learned so much from my time there, and though it was short, it will be long lived in my heart. =) and it was a stepping stone that God laid out for me to be able to get to where im going!

Ive been in the back seat for far too long, its time for me to hop on up tot he passenger seat. In order for me to sit in a place where I can get a better view of where the Lord wants to take me. So were departing on our roadtrip and I call Shotgun!

i hope all of this made sense... its almost 230 am i still have homework and im exhuasted.... But i have 2 job interviews in the next few days (PRAISE GOD)
so g'nite all.


Heather said...

goodness, I fall in love with your heart...<333

((Let me Explain)) said...

reading this was the best part of my day. Praise God!!. Reminds me of this saying, "not all who wander are lost", after that I am going to ditto Heather <3 so so so so happy for you

Corinne said...

I really really really love and miss the both of you! <3
thanks for always being so encouraging no matter where you are and whats going on! <3

Emily Elizabeth said...

i'm so happy that you are moving forward at home rinney. i miss your face here though. but i know home is more helpful than here right now. <3 you